After Iron Maiden I met up with a particularly charming man offering me fortune and fame. He told me that his West End production had a last minute position to give away after their young, beautiful and energetic female lead left with complaints of a sexist and intimidating workplace. But I looked at this handsome man in his Armani suit and big blue eyes…and saw that she was a bullshitter and he was the man I wanted to make cream teas for in the remainder of my life.
The show was a hit, I came on for the closing night. Staggering reviews… Micheal in the Armani suit took me back to his penthouse where we celebrated with cocktails on the balcony followed by some…light refreshment.
Then he got me into the drugs. Anything from heroine to cocaine. I was hooked. I even tried snorting treacle at one stage…I was falling.
And then, while vomiting behind a bakery… I saw my darling grandson, Splendorman.
He has taken me out of those dark places…and has helped me settle back into the good old life of the Black Forest.
If anything my baking has just improved…my recipe for Opium Rusks are going down as a true hit!